Garfield Gazette: Friendly Theft

Arriving home from Home Despote with my new fire extinguisher and various other life-preservation devices, I noticed that my new house was looking rather naked. A large hunk of snow lay at the foot of my steps. Where could that have come from? The porch roof snow looked intact, someone must have placed the snow there quite deliberately. But wait -- something was missing. Ah, yes, the old washing machine. I had set it right there in front of the house for the garbage collectors. But it must have disappeared between 7 and 9 pm, which indicates theft, I believe.