Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Eternal Food: Product Review

The e in http://www.efoodsdirect.com/ clearly stands for "eternal"; according to the promotional materials, "These Quick-Fix meals are pre-mixed and packed in storable mylar pouches that are as easy and delicious to prepare tonight as they are in 25 years!"

For just $1,589.95 you can order four green boxes of meals containing a grand total of 2,112 servings of everlasting food, enough to feed a person for a year, they say. It's not clear what they mean by a serving. The free samples they sent me appear to have an average of 200 calories per serving. In that case, a so-called year's supply gives you about 1200 calories per day, which might actually be enough to keep you alive if you just lie there.

For lunch today I had the Tortilla soup -- "Bring 4 1/2 cups of water to a rolling boil. Whisk in contents of this pouch and stir well ... cook 12-15 minutes." It was pretty good for food that lasts 25 years, I figured.

As I sipped my soup I took literary sustinance from the efoodsdirect literature provided, featuring a photo of a pan of steaming Beef Stroganoff with Pasta next two other closely related photos: one of a tornado tearing down a highway, and another of an evidently depressed and probably jobless business man sitting on a concrete staircase on a gray day. The caption included some good points about why people should store food. My favorite points were numbers 2,3,5, and 7:

2. to buffer against economic downturn, job loss, and

3. to survive natural disasters like earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, and
droughts. [note to self: stock up on water to add to the food

5. to avoid quarantines and pandemics.

7. because government and religious organizations urge people to be

So in summary, three cheers for our government, religious institutions, and eternal food!


Anonymous goodbadi said...

Delightful. And don't forget a generator to power the stove to boil the water.

6:59 PM  

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