Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Eternal Food: Product Review

The e in http://www.efoodsdirect.com/ clearly stands for "eternal"; according to the promotional materials, "These Quick-Fix meals are pre-mixed and packed in storable mylar pouches that are as easy and delicious to prepare tonight as they are in 25 years!"



For just $1,589.95 you can order four green boxes of meals containing a grand total of 2,112 servings of everlasting food, enough to feed a person for a year, they say. It's not clear what they mean by a serving. The free samples they sent me appear to have an average of 200 calories per serving. In that case, a so-called year's supply gives you about 1200 calories per day, which might actually be enough to keep you alive if you just lie there.


For lunch today I had the Tortilla soup -- "Bring 4 1/2 cups of water to a rolling boil. Whisk in contents of this pouch and stir well ... cook 12-15 minutes." It was pretty good for food that lasts 25 years, I figured.


As I sipped my soup I took literary sustinance from the efoodsdirect literature provided, featuring a photo of a pan of steaming Beef Stroganoff with Pasta next two other closely related photos: one of a tornado tearing down a highway, and another of an evidently depressed and probably jobless business man sitting on a concrete staircase on a gray day. The caption included some good points about why people should store food. My favorite points were numbers 2,3,5, and 7:


2. to buffer against economic downturn, job loss, and
unemployment.

3. to survive natural disasters like earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, and
droughts. [note to self: stock up on water to add to the food
pouches].

5. to avoid quarantines and pandemics.

7. because government and religious organizations urge people to be
prepared.


So in summary, three cheers for our government, religious institutions, and eternal food!

1 Comments:

Anonymous goodbadi said...

Delightful. And don't forget a generator to power the stove to boil the water.

6:59 PM  

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