Santa Claus for President

What do YOU want out of your next president? If you're a generic US citizen, here is what you want:

• A growing economy, full of interesting job opportunities.
  
• Low taxes.
  
• Lots of free public services, especially health care and education.
• National security: protection from terrorism, environmental protection, and financial stability.
  

Good luck with getting that! My wish list is much more modest:

• End the income tax and introduce the FairTax. Just because Mike Huckabee is pushing the idea doesn't mean it's a bad idea. In fact, God probably came up with it.
  
• A $20,000 tax-free handout to anyone who gets a non-reversible sterilization procedure done before having a second child and before the age of 40.
• Bring home all the troops. If we really need national defense, let's at least have the integrity to fight our battles at home and not on other peoples' soil.
  
• End free education. Hasn't anyone noticed that 80% of students are more interested in finding ways to distract each other during their daily 8 hour imprisonment than they are in learning?
  
• Phase out minimum wages, labor laws, and anything else that makes life hard for businesses besides the most basic environmental protection and anti-monopoly laws. If we feel compelled to take care of our workers, the last thing we should be doing is preventing the growth of business. Better ideas exist, like just giving the workers money.