Byrd Proposes "No Stupid Child Left Behind" Act

Senator Robert C. Byrd (D-WV) introduced a bill to the Senate budget committee calling for increased federal funding for schools with low average IQs. Known for decades of pork-barreling, Byrd is well aware of the economic boom his bill could bring to West Virginia.

But Byrd is also concerned about the plight of the stupid and economically depressed people in his state. Byrd hopes his bill will directly counteract the effects of the "No Child Left Behind Act" by improving educational oppurtunities for the children of his stupid constituents.

Stupidity analyst Rich Murray claims that job markets marginalize stupid people, and says that this warrents affirmative action. Stupid people are the first to get laid off and the last to get hired. The average stupid person's annual income is only about 70% of the average smart person's income, even after adjusting for other factors like ethnic background, economic background, gender, and body-mass index.