Dear Freakwenter

I need to find an apartment because I'm about to start grad school. I can't decide whether to pay more, and live within walking distance of school or pay less and drive or bus to work everyday. Could you provide a heuristic to help me sort out this jabberwocky?

-Prelocated in ... ?



Dear Prelocated:

First, I want to thank you for writing to me because I've gotten mail only twice before. As it has been said, "I get mail - therefore I am." Here is the solution to your predicament. First, you need to break out of your outdated mode of black-and-white thinking, pretending that you must choose "either-or." To do this, you may need to rely heavily on the monster-weight leading intellectual on creative thinking, Dr. Edward de Bono, pictured here. Dr. de Bono specialized in teaching people to think. Can't you tell this just by looking at his picture? It could be well-worth your time to take a look at his webpage, where you will find all kinds of profundity relating to Dr. de Bono's "understanding of the mind as a self-organizing information system." In summary, the solution to your problem is to ignore the problem and to allow yourself to perceive only opportunities. Maybe you have the opportunity to live in your office and not worry about getting an apartment. Or you could do a self-study on homelessness for some part of your graduate thesis. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you start out by learning how to think.

Sincerely,
The Freakwenter