Landlocked by locked land

My estate in Pittsburgh is partly surrounded (errr ... bordered by) land which stands as a pristine testament to poor governance, a pertinent topic now that I'm reading Atlas Shrugged.

Five consecutive overgrown lots stand all tax-delinquent and unused. I would buy them except that they are locked up by back taxes at a level far above the value of the land. One could blame the owners for letting things go to pot, but I would prefer to blame the city government for over-assessing the taxable value of this land, which I'm sure contributes to it's unsellablility with or without back taxes.

In recent years the city started some programs that help it to correct its foolishness. In some cases buyers can obtain abandoned land through treasurer's sales with forgiveness on the back-taxes. This is a smart move for the city, as it moves land back into the hands of those who will pay property tax to it, and it is profitable for buyers.

But this is just the start of it. The city shot herself in the foot (never mind anti-gun laws) when she sold $64 million in tax liens on properties all across the city. The buyer of a tax lien has specials powers backed by the court: a lien holder demands to be paid the full balance of the back taxes prior to the transfer of any of the deeds it holds under lien.

Once the city has sold a lien to a private corporation, it has no power to return the land to the [tax-unburdened] free market without buying back the lien from the private holder at up to the full back-taxes price, which grows in the interim due to interest and penalties.

The issue appears to be heating up, with at least two recent news articles (national news and local news) devoted to the topic. Both articles quote Aggie Brose, the venerable 35-year community activist of Garfield, Pittsburgh.

Photo

http://reddup.tumblr.com/post/3552939242/the-strange-sights-of-pittsburgh

Most expensive meal of my life

They gave me two wine glasses so that I could have both red wine and white wine at the same time without mixing them. I took advantage of this.

Bread was there for the taking, and the little butter packets seemed to have been chilled.

The waiters kept my water glass nonempty, which is kind of unusual.

The appetizers included a 7-inch mushroom steak thing, mussels, oysters, and something I could not identify and nobody seemed to know what it was.

My main dish was a few tails of lobster in a white sauce on a huge plate. Fancy rice and veggies were available as sides served family style. There was much rice and veggies left over and I got a doggie box. Then I got another doggie box because other people in the group didn't want their leftovers either.

The waiters brought us each a complementary shot of nail polish or something, it was that alcoholic. It was tasty though.

Before dessert I kept nibbling on bread and sipping on a decaf Irish coffee (booze again). When my rum cake showed up I was barely still breathing, not from the alcohol but rather from a lack of space in my chest due to excessive consumption. I was forced to eat my cake slowly, like one bite every few minutes, to give things time to settle.

Puns classified

I have another contribution to make to linguistics. Puns come in two forms: strong and weak.

A weak pun is a confusion between two very different usages of the same word (or a part of a word that is the same word root). Here is an example:

The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.

The word "line" in both sense derives from the same historical usage; a line is a connector, be it a string, telephone wire, or an arc of lead on paper.

A strong pun is a confusion between two words of entirely different etymology. Here is an example:

When the detectives on the police force observed suspects dining in the city's best restaurant, it was their favorite steak out.

As far as I know, stake has nothing to do with steak besides pronunciation. This makes the pun strong. Strong puns are not necessarily more funny, and in fact they tend to be more convoluted. Based on a quick survey over the list of puns provided here, weak puns are far more common than strong puns, and probably easier to create. Here is my attempt at at strong pun.

I wished that I had not put money down on the boat after the sail fell through.

Violence in the slums

I awake at 5:35 a.m., restless. At 5:45 I give up on sleep and slip downstairs and put on some coffee. Through the deck door I muse at the sleeping city. Still there is no hint of sunrise. Suddenly I remember that I forgot to put out the trash. The truck could come any minute. Nevermind, I don't have that much trash, it can wait. I sit down with my coffee.

A bang from the front of the house is so loud that I expect to find a car wreck on my porch. Before I have time to reconsider, a computerized voice comes through a loudspeaker: "This is the Pittsburgh Police. We have a search warrant for [house# streetname]. Surrender the building!"

My first thought is there must be some mistake -- not to mention, how do I go about surrendering my house -- until I notice that the house# referenced by the loudspeaker doesn't quite match mine; it's off by 2. So actually they are after the house three feet to my left. I stand contemplating my wall as a few more bangs erupt from the other side , watching as a spectator at a soccer game to see if any bullets might venture into my kitchen.

In a moment the computerized voice, playing on repeat, is shut off. I venture to my front window. A big black windowless truck-van (all doors open, the ninjas fully deployed), a black SUV, and lots of cop cars fill the street. Cops in SWAT gear with assault rifles mill about.

I return to my breakfast, hoping that they go by the time I'm done because I aspire to leave on my bike for work without getting shot. Indeed. They are gone with the first rays of light.

Book

A prominent author releases her first novel.

Peacefull Decoy Muslims

I applaud the Onion today.